so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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