Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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