I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
