You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
