whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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