so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
