somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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