the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
