I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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