I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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