Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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