You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
