I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
