i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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