he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
