we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
