RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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