There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
