He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
