I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
