I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
