Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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