I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Oh god it's open bar.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
