It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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