i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
