I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
