I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
