Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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