Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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