You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
