Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
