i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
