Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
