Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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