So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
