Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
