Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
