Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
