I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
