Tell her she can't have a vagina
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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