i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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