dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
As shirtless as possible
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
