when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
