can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
