At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
