K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
