in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
