nut hugger
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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