You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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