This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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